Accepting depression and anxiety and moving forward

Last night, I looking back at my life I realised that I've always suffered from depression and anxiety.  It just seems more acute nowadays...maybe the older you get the more you notice it?

I'm going for psychotherapy and am uncovering all sorts of things from my childhood...some things too hard to believe.  I'm starting to think that perhaps I have made up things, like I let my imagination run wild just so that I can justify the condition that I am in.  But, maybe I just have a chemical imbalance in my brain.

Who can really know for sure what is wrong with me.  I've taken medication and I was high as a kite.  Felt great, yet artificial and there was weight gain and then some depression after my body got used to the meds.  Hmmm, not really into upping my dose...what will happen to me after 10 years of this kind of carry on?

There's a beautiful lady I know in the town that I live in.  She must be in her early thirties and she is battling cancer.  She tried natural medication for 2 years and the cancer has only become worse, but she soldiers on.  To me it seems like she has accepted her cancer.  She has accepted her fate.  That was inspiring to me.

So instead of me feeling sorry for myself sometimes  and frantically trying to find this miracle natural and fantastic cure for my depression and anxiety, I've decided to accept it.  Maybe even embrace it.  "Hello Depression and Anxiety my old friends.  How can we work together so that we can make it to the end in God Consciousness?"

This made me feel more sober in mind...the kind of sobering feeling you get when you go to a funeral and look at a corpse.  "Yes, it's a fact, I. AM. ALSO. GOING. TO. DIE. ONE. DAY.  Best I get prepared."

So..preparing for death...sounds a tad morbid I know, but death is really just like the changing of an old garment to put on a new one...and if you are well prepared for death, you may not even have to take on another material body, but rather enter into the spiritual realm, as your true self, you, an eternal spiritual being apart from the gross and subtle body.   Nice! No more depression!  BONUS!

Okay, so I have this fragile glass jar, and I can fit one rock into it.  This rock is my spirituality.  The pebbles and sand in this fragile bottle are needed but not that important.  My main focus should be spirituality.

There are examples in the vedic scriptures, like Prariksit Maharaj, who was cursed by a naughty Brahmana boy to die in 7 days.  So instead of trying to counteract the curse (which Prariksit Maharaj easily could have), he accepted the curse and spent 7 days and nights listening to the sacred texts of Srimad Bhagavatam from the great Sage Sukadeva Goswami.  He attained self realisation and left his material body when the seven days passed.  He attained pure love of God.  He was completely successful.  

Had he counteracted the curse, who knows what may of happened to him.  He may have lived a long life, but may have become distracted by the illusions of this material world.

We all have our lives put out for us.  In my case, it has not turned out the way I thought it would.  I always thought that my mental problems would get better, that I would become this amazingly functional person full of confidence and ability to achieve things in life.  I wanted to do so many things in the entertainment industry, I wanted to serve Lord Krsna and  my Spiritual Master very expertly and I wanted to help people.  But the reality is, I can hardly even help myself.  Cooking a meal for myself can take weeks to achieve.  Tidying my room is the greatest mission in my world.  Getting myself out of the house takes so much energy for me.

Some days are better than others.  Some days, even weeks or months, I can soar through life like an eagle and then something happens...who knows what it could be, the change of direction of the wind perhaps, and I'm down, low down, I feel like I can't survive.  I feel as though I need to book myself into a mental institute because I can't cope with another day.  I lose my grip on reality.  I panic.  I feel alone, hopeless, grief and deep despair take over.  And it feels like an eternity.

Up and down, up and down.  There is a verse in the Bhagavad Gita As It Is, where Lord Krsna says:

"O son of Kunti, the nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed."

...Tolerate, without being disturbed.  Equipoised.  Finding the balance.

So to me this means, no matter what my material body is going through, bi-polar disorder, depression, anxiety, happiness, I must learn to tolerate it.  Find the balance...and not be disturbed....i.e  no self harming or suicide attempts.  But when I'm happy I should not become manic with over happiness and become super attached to this wonderful feeling of happiness, because then, I  go on a really low, low when the happiness is not there anymore to make me feel good.  What goes up...must come down...unless you are a tight rope walker...finding the balance.

This means my attachment to God is to be made strong, through chanting His names, serving Him as best I can and reading about Him as best as I can.

The Lord preserves what we have and carries what we lack.

I have to live a deep internal life, apart from the external material world with it's pleasures and pains.

Spring is approaching, the birds are singing, the Jasmines are blooming and giving off their wonderful scent, that makes my head want to explode with pleasure when I inhale it. I love offering these amazingly fragrant flowers to the Lord and my Spiritual Master.

Now there is happiness externally, all around.   I love Jasmines, and wait all winter for them to come into bloom again.  I observe and experience it today with a sober mind.  Trying to experience the deeper happiness and security within my heart knowing that I am not this temporary  body, I am not this temporary mind and senses, but that I am a spirit soul, apart from the gross and subtle and that I am protected and loved by the Supreme Lord Sri Krsna of whom I am an eternal servant to.

The more we boil the milk, the sweeter it gets.

Here are some inspiring quotes from Srila Prabhupada regarding boiling down the milk of Krsna Consciousness:


.
....you have got the right idea when you say that your preaching work
shall be directed toward the children and the devotees and not so much to
the Dallas public. We may thin the milk till it becomes useless, or we may
boil it until it becomes thick and sweet, so now we have got enough
followers, let us train them up perfectly in the philosophy and activities
of Krsna Consciousness way of life. Unless all of my students become very
much fixed up in their spiritual progress, what is the use of so many
programs for expansion? So you are the leader at Dallas, now it is your task
to become very, very responsible for the spiritual well being of all of the
students there, so Krsna will give you all intelligence and facilities to
serve Him nicely if you are very much sincere to do so. This will please me
very much.
============
REF. Letter to: Stokakrsna -- Los Angeles 20 June, 1972


I want that we shall concentrate on making our devotees Krishna
conscious and ourselves becoming Krishna conscious, and not be so much
concerned with expanding ourselves widely but without any spiritual content.
Just like boiling the milk, it becomes thicker and sweeter. Now do like
that, boil the milk.
Hoping this will meet you in good health.
Your ever well-wisher,
============ REF. Letter to: Rupanuga --
Honolulu 9 May, 1972


Now we have got so many students and so many temples but I am fearful
that if we expand too much in this way that we shall become weakened
and gradually the whole thing will become lost. Just like milk. We may thin
it more and more with water for cheating the customer, but in the end it
will cease to be any longer milk. Better to boil the milk now very
vigorously and make it thick and sweet, that is the best process. So let us
concentrate on training our devotees very thoroughly in the knowledge of
Krishna Consciousness from our books, from tapes, by discussing always, and
in so many ways instruct them in the right propositions.
I hope this meets you and your good wife Himavati in good health, and I
shall be arriving in London sometime on the 5th July, so you may all come to
London at your convenience and see me there.
Your ever well-wisher,
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
ACBS/sda
============ REF. Letter to: Hamsaduta -- Los Angeles 22
June, 1972

 

 Simply boil the milk.  From my conditioned point of view, I realized today, that whatever my husband and myself have, I'd like to consolidate it and now boil down the milk.

By the mercy of Srila Prabhupada, we have everything, all the books, all the knowledge, all the training, all facility for devotional service.   All the know how of how to rise up to the human platform and then how to become a devotee.

I looked at our pots today and saw that they were black at the bottom...I have to start somewhere.  Boil down the milk, boil down the milk.  Make everything I do nice and clean and proper so that one day Sri Guru will come and give his darshan and perhaps he will take us to Lord Sri Krsna.

Boiling down the milk, boiling down the milk.  We must not over endeavor and become depressed, always keeping the balance.  Health, sadhana, service.
 Knowing our limitations and from what platform we are starting out from.  Following the instructions of Sri Guru meticulously, with duty, purpose, faith, enthusiasm and determination.

Boiling down the milk, be careful not to burn, not to boil over, keeping the temperature just right.
Clean the pots, clean the kitchen, clean the temple, clean the heart.
An offering to Sri Guru, will he accept this service? - oh look, a black spot, clean, clean again.  Kick out laziness, kick out illusion, kick out apathy in the process of devotional service.
Everyday new.  A new opportunity to improve.

Boiling down the milk, boiling down the milk...Dear Gurudeva, is this offering acceptable?...I did'nt think so.  Thank you for your patience GuruMaharaj, thank you for your compassion. I'll go back and try again.  Thank you for giving me a chance Gurudeva.
One day, one day it will be perfect.  One day it will be pure.  By your mercy Gurudeva, by your grace and  by some endeavor from me a would be lost case.
Jay Gurudeva.

Who is our real friend?

Friendship, family, society and love...all temporary I'm afraid.  It's so difficult to accept sometimes.

"I love you!  I'll love you forever! You're my forever man/woman/friend/parent/child..." Sound familiar?  Ever felt that way about anyone?  Anyone ever felt that way about you?

Well the harsh reality is, that all relationships within this material world are temporary.  Even if we stay with one partner for an entire lifetime, we will die and go in different directions.  It is stated in the Vedas, that just as sticks come together in a river and stay together for some moments, soon  the current pushes them all apart, much like relationships within this material world.

So do we have an eternal friend?  Is any friend real?  Yes, Krsna the Supreme Personality of Godhead is our eternal friend.  You may call Him Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, Buddha, Govinda, Gopala, God.  He is our eternal shelter, our Supreme friend and eternal well wisher.

How can we connect with Krsna, our eternal friend?...Well, through chanting His holy names.  Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.  The most simple and sublime method for reviving our relationship with God.

Taming the TONGUE.

Tongues are weird looking things.  A slimy muscle that loves to talk and taste, talk and taste, talk and taste until you either feel like a fool for speaking too much nonsense or a pig for eating too much.

For a spiritualist we have to learn to control the tongue, because if you can control your tongue, you can control the rest of your senses.

According to Bhagavad Gita As It Is, the tongue should be engaged in vibrating the names of God and speaking of the topics of God, also,  to taste the remnants of foodstuffs offered to the Lord (Prasadam).

One should not over eat...and have you ever noticed how easy it is to overindulge?  Overeating happens for so many reasons.  Nowadays, many people use food as a comfort...comfort eating, it can become like an addiction.  It can be like a hobby.  Eat when you are bored, sad, happy, lonely, entertainment, pleasure... or just because you are just  plain and simply greedy and lustful at that moment...believe me, I know, I am a victim of my uncontrolled tongue.

Whatever the reason for overeating, one needs to address this issue and correct it if one wants to make tangible spiritual advancement, because a yogi is one who neither eats too much or eats too little.

It always feels so good when you just eat when you are hungry and stop before you are full.  Just enough to keep body and soul together...and believe me, we don't really need to eat that much.  You feel strong and so in control...in control of what exactly?...Well in control of our senses.  I always feel so focused when I am able to control the tongue...but it's a constant battle.

It's not so much about losing weight or looking good, it's about being in control of your senses and not allowing the mind and senses to drag you around all over the show, so that our focus on our spiritual practice  is disturbed.

Well, here's to another moment in an attempt to control the tongue.  It's a constant battle, but it must be fought.  If we lose the battle one hundred times a day, just get up, and dust yourself off, keep calm and carry on.  With constant practice and determination, we will get there, it can't rain all the time.

Learning how to not be a man, when you're a woman.

In this world, as we are assigned to our duties in life according to our karma, woman in particular have taken on the role or have tried to become equal to men.

Srila Prabhupada has spoken many times about this situation.  How womans liberation is just exploiting woman.  Woman think they are free, but they are always dependent upon someone...particularly men.

It's a fact, we are weaker by nature.  We are more fragile and sensitive. 

In a world where it's just the norm for woman to work just as hard as men, I find myself feeling guilty when I can't keep up.  Guilty when I need to stop because I'm tired, emotional and drained. Guilty because my body is doing it's thing and I can't get up because I'm in pain. Guilty because my husband is working so hard and I'm slacking.

But guess what?  Men love to work hard and wipe the sweat from their brows (real men anyways).  They are like oxen who love to work hard and relax at the end of a day that was action packed.  And women are'nt supposed to be neck and neck with the husband on the battlefield.  Sure, sometimes it may be needed, but for the most part, it's OK to stand just a little behind the man.  Sheltered from the world.  Being a tremendous support for the man who goes out on the battlefield of life.

From the highest point of view, we are spirit souls, part and parcel of Krsna and are prakriti, female by nature.  Krsna is purusa, the Supreme male.  As prakriti, we are eternal servants of the original Supreme male, it's only natural.  So for those of us embodied in female bodies in this material world, it could be easier for us to develop this relationship with God, but not if we try to dominate the male species and be the "Supreme" controller in what is known as the battle of the sexes.  That is not our position, how will we be able to cultivate the qualities of a devotee if we are trying to be men when we are woman?

Apologies

I would like to make a public apology to anyone that I may have offended through articles that I have written on the internet.

Searching for the truth is not always easy and  due to being a conditioned living entity, I   have sometimes said or written things that were not proper or correct.   This is due to my ignorance and foolishness.

I ask anyone who I may have offended to please forgive me.

Your fallen servant

Suvarna Manjari dasi

To serve or to be served?

Another wonderful day in the service of Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krsna.

Attending mangal arti and getting your rounds done before 7am is really the boost you need to get you going for the day. Mixed with conscious enthusiasm to serve the Lord, His pure devotee and other living entities makes for one AWESOME day!

 After a day of service and work, while putting the Lord to rest, I was wondering about the concept of being a servant. We are always servants. There is never a time when we are not a servant to some one or something. Srila Prabhupada says that either you serve God or you serve dog, but you must serve. It's a difficult concept for some to swallow...I mean, SERVANT? Menial SERVANT? Can this be right? Is this all I am? Is this all I amount to? A SERVANT?

Some may feel it's so degrading, so low. After all, WE want to be the masters and controllers. And even although a woman or man may find great joy in serving their dog, we still don't like to admit that we are mere servants. But what is the feeling behind service? Why does it make us feel so good? And here I'm not referring to being a servant to an abusive boss or so called guru or family member (although in a twisted reality this may feel good to the one being abused due to low self esteem). I mean the good relationships, but more specifically our relationship with Lord Krsna and His pure devotees. What makes us tick? What makes us go on and on and on without stopping despite trials and tribulations?

 Well I found out tonight that it boils down to loving exchange. The loving exchange between the Lord, the Spiritual Master and the devotee. Just see the loving exchanges between Arjuna and Lord Krsna. Sudhama Brahmana and Lord Krsna. So many examples are there. The Srimad Bhagavatam are full to the brim of examples of the loving exchanges between the Supreme Master and His eternal parts and parcels. Examples of how the Supreme Personality of Godhead Himself serves the devotee. It's incredible. Not that we should aspire and desire to be served by Lord Krnsa! But we can appreciate the Lords loving spirit and mood. And although I am young in my devotional life and bound up by the modes of material nature, still in this conditioned state I can practically see and experience the reciprocation from Lord Krsna and Srila Prabhupada. There are countless examples of the loving exchanges between Srila Prabhupada and His early disciples that we can also hear and relish. So next time if we feel like what's the point in serving serving serving all day long, we can try to remember those loving exchanges that we experience everyday. :)

Anything but surrender!

Even although I practise Krsna Consciousness, many times in a day I will do anything else but serve Lord Krsna! How shocking to realize this...yet again. Sometimes I think it's just because I'm tired, or mentally disturbed or this or that, but it all boils down to envy of Lord Krsna the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Sure, sometimes I'm ill, physically or mentally, but these illnesses must come from past karma right? And why do I have karma? Why am I in this material world? ENVY of Krsna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. I wish I was not envious of the Supreme Lord, but the truth of the matter is...I am. And the only way to end this envy is to surrender unto the Lords Pure Devotee and serve Him with all my heart and soul and pray for deliverance of this demoniac mentality. Should I beat myself up about this? Perhaps to a certain degree. But realistically, I've been in this material world for what seems like an eternity, so to beat myself up because in 10 years I have not become free of envy towards the Supreme Lord, considering years and lifetimes of material conditioning, I'm doing ok, by the mercy of my Spiritual Master Srila A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. But at the same time, I should still feel ashamed at my pitiful condition. It is shameful to be envious of any living entity and even more so to be envious of the Supreme Lord, our creator, our Father and our dear most friend and ever well wisher. The amazing thing about it all, is that the Supreme Personality of Godhead loves us so much and wants us to end the suffering that we are undergoing here in this temporary world, more than we want to end it. And the Lord time and time again sends His representatives and even personally comes to deliver us. We are so fortunate and so loved. Let us all take full advantage of Lord Krsnas pure devotee Srila Prabhupadas instructions and end this life of suffering and return back home, back to Godhead. In a world full of divine love, free from the trappings of this material realm. All glories to our beloved Lord Sri Krsna! All glories to His Divine Grace Srila A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada!

Marilyn still remembers...

Last week after Food For Life I was sweeping up after the lunch time serve out, when a woman came for lunch. Unfortunately we had distributed all the prasadam for that day and was dissapointed that there was none left, as this was her 3rd time she had tried to come. I said I was sorry and told her our opening times. She left and then came back. "You're back!" I exclaimed. And then she said "I joined the Hare Krsnas in Toronto many years ago and lived in temples around the world. While I was driving here, I was remembering the Tulasi Prayers and Idam purnam....you know, you never forget these songs...it's really amazing." At this point my jaw had dropped to the floor and I asked her if she had personally met or seen Srila Prabhupada and she said that she did see Him in Toronto. I was jumping up and down and completely amazed! Here in Whangarei, a small town in Nz I get to meet this woman who personally saw Srila Prabhupada and who still can sing Tulasi Prayers! Thank you Srila Prabhupada, for blessing us all with Your Transcendental darshan!

Back to Godhead indeed!

Our guests at the Hare Krishna Food for Life are absorbed in reading the transcendental Back to Godhead Magazines and On Chanting Hare Krsna pamphlets!

People are hungry for this knowledge and the more we make it available for people to read, the more we will alleviate the suffering of mankind, our own twisted souls and please our Spiritual Master Srila Prabhupada and all the previous Acharyas!

Back to Godhead indeed my dear friends!

Prasadam, Holy name and smiling faces!

All glories to Srila Prabhupada!  Please accept my respects!

The summer is heating up here in Whangarei, and so is the Hare Krishna Food For Life Community Cafe kitchen!
Buddhi and I are blessed to be serving Srila Prabhupada in this way.
The community is still supplying us with the most beautiful organic vegetables and our guests are still coming for delicious Prasadam! And INCREASING!!
With the Holy names playing, incense burning we stood by today and watched all sorts of people honor prasadam while reading old BTGs and Chanting Hare Krishna pamphlets.
Today a lady spontaneously asked us if she would like her to distribute flyers for free, as she does a paper run to 1000 homes!  Then she asked if she could sweep out the cafe.
I was humbled that someone would do such a menial chore as to sweep up, but gave her the broom, because I know that she is doing devotional service.  She  would please Srila Prabhupada and Krsna and come closer to Their Lotus Feet, even if unknowingly.
It was a good day today, we had no prasadam left by the end of the day.
My realization, is that we all have the full blessings of Srila Prabhupada to give the mercy to others.  We have SO MUCH MERCY!
We actually have all facility.  We can do it by Srila Prabhupadas mercy and some endevour on our part.
Praying that more and more devotees take up this mission of Srila Prabhupada, to whatever degree.  It's so simple and so sublime.  Giving this gift to others, there is nothing better in this world.
Even if the "institution" is in a mess, that does'nt matter!  The whole world is a mess! :)  Devotees all over the world should try to do what they can to give prasadam, Srila Prabhupadas books and the Holy Name out to others.  We don't have to rely on the institution to do this.  Independantly thoughtful.  As the ad goes..."JUST DO IT!"...of course, the right time will happen for everyone, a year ago my husband and I did'nt know what we were going to do, but somehow or other we are really getting into the NECTAR...as they say and are feeling so very happy in devotional service.
I pray that devotees once again become happy in their devotion service.  So much suffering has happened within our society, but if we can find the happiness again in the Pure teachings of our Divine Spiritual Master Srila Prabhupada and serve Him as He has shown us, then our lives will become blissful and full of purpose and real happiness.
Prasadam, Holy name, pure teachings and happy smiling faces all around.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!!!

New Year, old body, old anarthas.

The new year has begun, the body gets older and the anarthas may be older than we care to admit.
For the conditioned soul, being envious of Krsna and His pure eternal associates is an anartha so deep rooted, that we sometimes can't even see it.  I saw it today...it reared it's ugly head and the shame it brought with it made me want to break free from this demoniac nature.

In Kali Yuga, the demon and devotee lives within the SAME body...I shudder to think of it.

Living in this material world, a place that's full of suffering.  Srila Prabhupada says that EVERYONE is suffering, from the Demigods right down to the insignificant ant...SUFFERING. 
We feel the pains of our bodies, minds, other living entities, the demigods and to top it off, we are envious of God...what is our hope?  Is there a saving grace?  His Divine Grace, Srila A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.

We may even  be envious of the pure devotee, but if we continue to sincerely try to serve Him, we will become purified.  I heard a pastime that a devotee was shaving Srila Prabhupadas face and the devotee said "Srila Prabhupada, I want to cut your throat."  and Srila Prabhupada said "Just keep on shaving."

So in this new year, in our aging bodies with our deep rooted anarthas (unwanted qualities of the heart), just keep on chanting, keep on reading, keep on serving, keep on dancing, keep on preaching under the direction of His Divine Grace Srila A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada and one day, by His mercy we will have a new year everyday, with eternal bodies and pure qualities. 

How long will it take?  We do not know, but we must keep pushing on forward, because it's a war against so many obstacles.  Keeping our eye on the General, Srila Prabhupada always and forever.  There is no alternative.

Krsna forgives a sincere devotee.

After reading the pastime of Govardhana Hill in Krsna book, I was amazed at how consumed Lord Indra was with power.  He became so upset that he was not being worshipped, that he tried to kill Krsna and all the residence of Vrndavan!  Powerful! Shocking!

  Ultimately Krsna can never be defeated.  Indra eventually came to his senses and offered Prayers to Lord Krsna and asked for forgiveness.

I was deeply moved by Krsnas forgiving mood.  Even although Indra tried to kill Krsna and everyone in Vrndavan, Krsna still forgave Indra when he sincerely repented.  There is a lot of hope within this pastime.  Hope for us all as apiring devotees of Krsna/God.

We may make mistakes and become bewildered and even fight with Krsna, but if we come to our senses (by the mercy of the Lord and His Pure devotee)  We can again be situated properly in devotional service.

Met anyone like this lately?

A narcissistic sociopath is someone with a combination of narcissistic personality disorder and definitive behavioral signs of sociopathy. People with narcissism are characterized by their excessive and persistent need for others' admiration and positive reinforcement. They generally have grandiose opinions of themselves and believe they are superior to other people. Narcissists are also frequently convinced that they are above the normal responsibilities and obligations of everyday life, so they usually have significant difficulties maintaining employment or relationships as a result. The narcissistic sociopath has this type of personality along with a noticeable lack of regard for the rights of others and a tendency to regularly violate those rights.
One noted difference between a narcissistic sociopath and people with narcissism alone is that the narcissist with the sociopathy reacts strongly and sometimes even violently to negative feedback. True sociopaths generally do not respond to criticism or care what others may think of them. A narcissistic sociopath is unable to tolerate criticism and needs constant praise, as well as deference from other people. Many with this condition present themselves in the best light possible and are able to easily charm others to gain their trust.

A definite characteristic of a narcissistic sociopath is a tendency to view others not as fellow human beings, but rather as tools or means to an end. If certain other people are deemed unable to further the narcissistic sociopath's given agenda, they are normally cast aside. People diagnosed with this type of personality disorder usually do not have boundaries when it comes to manipulating and victimizing others if doing so will lead to their own benefit. This behavior trait can usually make romantic relationships with a narcissistic sociopath particularly destructive emotionally, mentally, and often financially. Many former spouses or partners of these individuals report that recovering from the relationship can take a long time.
Causes of narcissism are commonly attributed to abusive or dysfunctional early years, although some psychologists claim that specific biological differences in brain chemistry may also be partially to blame. Exact causes of sociopathic behavior are similarly subject to debate. When these two personality conditions coexist in the same person, some mental health professionals report that treating narcissism often yields better results than most attempts to treat sociopathy. Others maintain that most narcissistic sociopaths are largely untreatable through any kinds of established therapies, so the most that society can do is establish protective measures against these individuals' destructive behaviors.

The narcissistic personality has become pervasive in today's society. We frequently find them in top tier positions in business, government, entertainment and various professional power centers. The sociopath functions outside of society but his criminal acts have a tragic negative effect on everyone. The narcissist creates an elaborate image of perfection that brings him praise and admiration. At the highest levels the narcissist is charismatic and easily finds followers who will fulfill his voracious ego needs. High-level narcissists fool a lot of people, displaying a magnetic charm that is irresistible. Unlike the narcissist, the sociopath (anti-social personality) doesn't care one wit about the impression he is making. He lives in his own world, does what he wants, and detests and looks down on others. People are foolish pawns designed to be trapped in his web. The sociopath is an exploiter par excellence. The sociopath can be charming and seductive when he turns on his bright lights to get exactly what he wants when he wants it. But this panache is a thin, short-lived ploy.

Opening a grand success!

By the blessings of His Divine Grace Srila A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada and His Divine Grace Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Swami Prabhupada, the Hare Krishna Food for Life opening in Whangarei on 14th December 2011 was a grand success!!!
Mayor Cutforth and his good wife attended the function and his wife cut the ribbon to officially open Food For Life.
There were reporters and a film crew for TV Nz news.
About 100 people came through the doors on this day and took Krsna Prasadam.
From the homeless to the Mayor.
A few people gave donations.
The prasadam consisted of rice, dahl, potato and silverbeet subji, cauliflower, peas, tomatoe and curd subji, veg pakoras, fresh salad, halava, sweet rice, strawberries and cream and mango lassi!
It was fantastic and everyone was smiling with a tummy full of Krsna Prasadam!
Last night Buddhi and I read this in the Prabhupada book:
"The morning and evening kirtanas had already made the Radha-Krsna temple popular in Haight-Ashbury, but when the devotees began serving a daily free lunch, the temple became an integral part of the community.  Swamiji told His disciples simply to cook and distribute prasadam - that would be their only activity during the day. In the morning they would cook, and at noon they would feed everyone who came - sometimes 150 to 200 hippies from the streets of Haight-Ashbury..."
Very inspiring piece!

Raped by demons!

Raped by demons...
Rape the rivers
Rape the trees
Rape the soil
Rape the bees
Rape the ocean you heartless beings
Bring the people to their knees.
Rape our Mother, Holy Cow,
Murder our Father Bull with plough.

Infiltrate, Annihilate,
Buildings incinerate.

Trying to take control
Digging us into a deeper hole.
You cannot cut you cannot burn
The eternal soul within.
Trying so hard to break us down,
while wearing a plastic Crown.
The Supreme Lord the God of all - undefeated - can never fall.
Trying so hard to be Supreme, what a farce, a childish dream!

by Suvarna Manjari dasi 2011

Whangarei Nz joins the Hare Krishna Food For Life party!

Dear Devotees, during the week, we were interviewed by a newspaper reporter and so we had an article in the newspaper during the week telling the public about the project...Next morning, we get a call from T.V New Zealand and they want to do a short story (only about 1mins worth) on us to put on National news!!!
HARE KRSNA!!!  ..so this has sped up the process of Food For Life Whangarei and we will be, Krsna willing up and running by next week Wednesday!  The news crew will come and film on Tuesday as we get set up and then on Wednesday for the opening!  Please send your blessings!
The Whangarei community, businesses and so on have come to the party with donations.  Buddhi has been approaching different people and the generosity of the people is overwhelming!
A paint shop donated us 20lt of paint...tinted to the colours we want. and a $70 voucher for paint brushes and accesories.  A man came and fixed the alarm system for free.  At first he was going to charge us $50 and then after hearing about the project he said "don't worry about the bill."
Another company quoted us $80 for good quality cleaning materials and detergents...then gave us 30% off, then said he'd pay half of the rest...is the SUPERSOUL affecting these souls?
A packaging company donated 500 biodegradable paper plates and someone anon, donated 8 chairs!
Whoo hooooo!  Tomorrow we are going over to another big company and they also want to donate paint and perhaps some other things we need.
The sign writers are busy with the signs and the race is on for Wednesday noon!
Hare Krsna!  All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Miracles on Maunu Rd!

                                                               

Drops of Nectar... bucket loads full!  Can the mercy be measured?  The happiness one experiences when trying (though riddled with faults) to serve Srila Prabhupada cannot be measured!
As some of you may know, my husband Buddhimanta Khan das and I are desiring to set up a small preaching centre and Food For Life here in a small town called Whangarei.
And I tell you, the mercy is flowing like thick honey. 
I realized today, that no matter whatever one tries to do for Srila Prabhupada and Krsna, we are never the losers, and Prabhupada says that too.
Today during our morning japa walk, we met a man who come limping down the street to meet us, calling out "Good Morning!"
Initially a bit sceptical, Buddhi and I listened to this man...and basically he is a bhakta.  He was once before a vegetarian and attended some Hare Krsna festivals in Auckland back in the day, but started eating meat again due to circumstances, but so much wants to stop.
He said he believes to the letter in the commandments that "Thou shalt not kill"...Srila Prabhupada I'm sure favours this soul due to his understanding.
Listening to this man, who at a first glance, one without a deeper vision would think that he was just a nobody.  Just another guy who is not all well off and glamorous.

He offered his service and said that if we need anything, painting, cleaning whatever, to call on him for service.  What a moment in time.  He lives just around the corner from us. (we have just moved into an apartment around the corner from where the preaching centre will be)
Lately our days have wonderful moments of connecting with other people.  We do not hide the fact that we are devotees and we are seeing wonderful things happen before our eyes.
Today we spoke to another man, and he told us, "It is amazing, just the other day my wife said to me that she thinks Whangarei needs a soup kitchen and then I met you Buddhi."
He said his wife would love to help out and volunteer at Food For Life.
We have been given  a free building for Food for Life on a month to month basis...the landlord wishes to remain anon.
And just the other day a man who owns a second hand whiteware shop donated a fridge and freezer.



But today, to top off everything, a locksmith came to change our locks (since the last tenants of our house were drug dealers) and the one locksmith was looking at this big picture we have of Radha Krsna. 
He asked me "Who is the Lady on the right?"
I said, "Oh, this is Radharani, the female aspect of God, Krsnas consort."
He was very curious and interested.
Then he said "I have a tattoo of her...I never knew who it was, but I think it's her.
Excitedly I asked him if I could see the tattoo.
He lifted his shirt and there was a huge tattoo, down the right side of His chest.  I was'nt sure if it was Radharani, because her features were very strong. (but then again it could have been the artists impression.)



Anyways, I said "Maybe it's Sarasvati?"
He said, "Look, she has a peacock feather in her hand."



Amazing!
Later on, I told my husband about the incident and I looked at the picture to see if Radharani was holding a peacock feather, but she was not.  My husband told me to go and look at another picture of an old Radha Krsna picture that he just framed last night...and to my great and wonderous surprise...Radharani was holding peacock feathers and was embracing her beloved Krsna!
Just another miracle on Maunu Road!
Meeting Srila Prabhupada has undoubtedly been the greatest blessing in all my life and millions of lifetimes!
All glories to You Srila Prabhupada, You are the reason my life is worth living!

Too cute!

Continue

A little deeper...

We've got to look a little deeper at the picture,
We've got to read a little deeper into the words,
We've got to hear a little deeper from the Teacher,
You've got to move a little further from the herd!

How can we move forward when we have'nt seen the past?
How can we succeed if we're blind looking through glass?
How can we give when we have an empty heart?

We've got to look, just a little bit deeper...